Great time 'getting lost' in Dehli

"Getting lost" has a whole new meaning in Delhi. This is how it works:
- First, you ask for a car with a driver, who has the local knowledge

- The driver arrives with a car. Nice clean car -- with paper at the bottom of the car saying 'have a safe trip' (makes you wonder, hmmm "is this some kind of a warning?")

- The paper is there so that the car does not get all that rubbish that you collect from the roads all day and bring it inside the car

- Then there is the plastic wrapping on the seats. I ask the driver, very surprised 'is this a new car'? (the car looks beaten but plastic still on the seats makes you wonder, and the 'have a safe trip' paper comes back to my mind)."no madam' he says. He explains that the car is about 7 years old and the plastic has never been taken off. The plastic looks much more newer than the car, I can vouch for that.

- then you tell him where you want to go. He says 'ok madam'. And off he goes.

- then about 2 hours in to the journey, you realise you have almost left Delhi behind an hour ago. You ask 'Driver, do you know where you are going?'. Silence! I repeat. Silence again. Then sheepish reply 'actually madam, I was waiting for you to give me directions'!! You want to kill him then. We stop to ask someone. They give you directions. 'Go straight and turn left one says'., You do that, you reach a dead end. You ask someone else, they say "what madam, you are completely in the wrong direction. Go back, and then go straight and right'. You do that for about 20 mins. All this through the heaviest traffic you can imagine - the main roads and the off roads all have all kinds of cars, heavy trucks, babies begging in the middle of the road, cows in abundance, livestock.

- I have a smart driver. He reverses the car each time we have missed the direction. He reverses the car in the middle of a heavy traffic, on the opposite side of where every one else is heading. And no one even gets angry about it. They just let him pass.

- After about another 20 mins, after I have called the client about 20 times, we stop again. We ask for directions again. The man looks at me, the driver, then me and the driver. I think 'stop the f-ing drama, just tell us where to go'. He says 'what madam, you are completely in the wrong suburb'. That place is about 10 kms away.

- My driver says immediately 'madam, I told you!!!'. I want to kill him by then. Totally.

- I finally glare at him, and in my most strongest, angriest voice I say to him, 'I need to be at this place in 20 mins. If I dont reach there on time, I will not pay you'. That seems to work instantly. I am at the place in less than!

Finally!
more later.,